Happy Birthday(s)!

Technically, I am an only child. I don't particularly think of myself as one, however, because of the close relationships I have had with my cousins growing up. I consider all them my brothers and sisters. Two of them are celebrating birthdays this weekend so I felt it necessary to give them props on their big days.

Helen turns 31, resides in Dallas, and is one of the coolest chicks you would ever want to know. She never has a bad word to say about anyone (note to self - maybe that's b/c she's talking about me???), yet she is as tough as nails. She grew up with 2 older brothers and hung around myself as well as her other male cousins so she learned at a rather young age that if she wanted to hang with the boys, she was going to have to be tough. I can think of numerous stories growing up that reflect this fact so I'll tell one of those here.

It was a hot summer day in Houston in the early 80's and like most weekends at the time, we spent them together. It was Helen, her two brothers and me. Her mom (my aunt) was taking us for our usual jaunt over to The Forest Club for a day of swimming. As usual, we were all excited to be together and we couldn't wait to get to the club to hit the high dive. We all sat in the car in the driveway waiting for Helen's mom to come out and take us there. Finally we see her come out of the house, but instead of her usual calm demeaner, she was fuming mad! Uh oh! She proceeds to head straight for us and, come to find out, she was not taking us anywhere until one of us fessed up to making a complete mess of her bedroom with peanut butter and crackers. Needless to say, it wasn't me...I didn't live there for Pete's sake so why the hell would I eat peanut butter and crackers in my aunt's bedroom? No-one wanted to say a word since no-one wanted to get in trouble so my aunt promptly decided that we weren't going anywhere until someone confessed, so she went back inside while we were left to hash it out in the driveway.

Since nobody wanted to come clean, it came down to the natural pecking order of things. Helen, being the youngest one, was volunteered by us to go inside and tell her mom that it was her that made the mess. Being the trooper that she was, she graciously accepted (Our 3 feet kicking her out of the car helped too!). After about 30 minutes and a heated tongue lashing, we were all on our way to another fun filled day at the club. Fast forward 20 years and it finally came out in a family gathering that her brother, Christopher, was the culprit! Thanks again for taking one for the team, Helen! You rock! I look forward to seing you next month on our trip to the slopes in Aspen!

I know I surely sound partial being that he is another one of my psuedo-siblings, but Patrick is another true example of an extraordinary human being. He's a husband to a classy gal, a father to two beautiful kids, and a patriot to 300 million people.

I can remember playing basketball with he and his dad (my uncle) over at their house as kids. I specifically remember my Hakeem Olajuwan skills as a shot blocker since I was able to swat away his shots like a pro, myself being 7 years older and 2 feet taller notwithstanding. Needless to say, he is now a marine and flies harriers for a living. He's also a little taller than he was then and just slightly (cough cough) in better shape than I am in now so a rematch will not be in order since I think I would like that trophy's spot to remain on my mantle.

Patrick turns 30 today and I cannot be prouder of someone than I am of him. He exudes kindness and resonates humility. We can all learn a lot from this guy. As much as you want to know what's going on with his life and his crazy world of fighter jets, he would much rather know what's going on with yours. That's just the kind of person he is. He not only sets a wonderful example for those two lovely kids of his, but I feel he sets one for anyone who is lucky enough to be around him. I am happy to say that I am one of those lucky individuals.

So Helen and Patrick...All I can is thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for continuing to be a part of my life and thanks for being my friend!

Happy Birthday!

Super Sunday

Bottom line...I love football. Always have, always will. There are days that I still bleed Columbia Blue in honor of my childhood dreams of the Oilers winning the big one. After a second devastating loss in the AFC Championship game during the 1979-80 season in Pittsburgh, Bum Phillips promised the fans they would be back to "knock the door down" to get into the Super Bowl.

A few years later while I was in high school I had an incredible experience when two of my passions collided. I grew up saltwater fishing in Matagorda Bay since my parents had a vacation home there. On this fateful occasion, we went to pick up a close friend of the family and his houseguest in our boat for another journey on the bay. Although I knew who would be joining us, I still couldn't believe who was climbing into our boat 10 minutes later. It was Dan Pastorini, ex-quarterback of the Houston Oilers! In between the dirty jokes and the fishing I finally got up the nerve to ask him about what it was like to play those two championship games in Pittsburgh. His answer was short and sweet but it was obvious that he was frustrated with the outcomes of those games as much as the fans were. All he said was, "It was cold!"

The Oilers had a few down years before emerging as another frontrunner during the era of Warren Moon and the run and shoot. The Astrodome became the House of Pain and once again the Oilers were the talk of the town. All of that came crashing down in 1992 when the Oilers were a good bet to make it to their first Super Bowl. In the 3rd quarter of their playoff game with the Buffalo Bills, the good guys were cruising to victory with a 35-3 lead. Somehow (and don't ask me how since that 90 minutes of my life is like a black hole) the Oilers folded like a wet blanket and ended up losing that game in overtime 41-38. They were never the same after that and 4 years later the owner packed up and left for Tennessee.

The Titans did make it to Super Bowl XXXIV in 2000 but fell just short in one of the best Bowl games ever played when Kevin Dyson was tackled 1 yard short of the goal line for the tying score as time expired. St. Louis 23 Houston ( I mean Tennessee ) 16. It certainly wasn't the same as pulling for the Oilers, but I was quietly rooting for my old team as I waited anxiously for 2002 - the year I would once again have a team to call my own. The Texans arrived and I quickly remembered what it was like to have an upset stomach for 4 months out of the year. Despite the numerous bottles of Tums and Alka Seltzer, Sundays were the same again.

I know there are those people out there that whine about the players being overpaid and the league being out of control, but you know what? Despite all the naysayers, the market is there and if someone was going to pay Joe Smo $5 million a year to make copies, do you think he would turn the money down? Hell no! The NFL has arguably become the most popular sport in America. The Super Bowl alone is watched by nearly half of all US television households. Watercoolers have become havens for Monday morning quarterbacks and everyone loves to talk about the teams they hate (Cowboys?) and the mentally unstable players (TO?) that make up those teams. In light of the big game this Sunday a friend of mine sent me this funny article that I thought hit home pretty good.

So it's time to blow up those inflatable armchairs, pop open a cold one, line the table with wings and hope that you hit the squares on the office pool. And although my team still seems a long way off from knocking that door down I will still be rooting each year in the hopes of being on that doorstep again. There will always be a special place in my heart for the cheering pom poms of those Luv ya Blue days, but for now I am content with Luv ya Deep Steel Blue, Battle Red, and Liberty White...Go Texans!

Super Bowl XLI Prediction
===================
Indianapolis - 27
Chicago - 21

Cheers!

Merry Christmas!

In case you missed one of the more talked about sketches in recent Saturday Night Live history, enjoy...

Turkey Day

Ahhh...My favorite holiday is fast approaching and I would be remiss if I didn't glorify it in some detail. Thanksgiving is the holiday to beat all holidays. The family is actually able to gather together without all the stress and worries that sometimes accompanies Christmas. Now I love Christmas too - don't get me wrong. I am far from being a "bah-humbug", but I have seen enough examples of appreciation turning into expectation that tends to cause the true meaning of Christmas to get lost somewhere in the mix.

Now you know you're going to have a good Thanksgiving when the weather is cold and the sky is overcast and dreary. That's the perfect recipe for football and turkey. If the Cowboys lose, then forget it...you've just died and gone to heaven! And if your family is anything like mine, then you will have a similar mixture of characters:

The Boss: This is the one who keeps the order. Without the boss, chaos would ensue. The boss will usually be in charge of the turkey as well as all of the subsequent turkeys in the family. Although the boss sometimes steers clear of most of the festivities, it is important to know the festivities would most likely not occur without him (or her).

The Gossip: You want to hit this person up early so when the good fights break out you know what's really going on. There may be more than one gossip in the family so it's a good idea to get with all of them so you have the full scoop on everything. Be careful, though...the gossip can get you in trouble if you spend too much time alone with them, especially if you get caught by the instigator.

The Loud Talker(s): Generally two or more people fall into this category and they usually show themselves during the Thanksgiving meal. To bring the loud talkers out of their shells, one must simply initiate conversation in one of the following topics - politics, religion, or other family members not present at the gathering. Instead of letting one another finish, the loud talkers will gradually increase their volume over one another until the noise becomes so deafening that the boss must step in to restore order.

The Newbie: This is the new person in the family gathering. Usually a new boyfriend/girlfriend, this brave soul is fair game for all. It's beneficial for the newbie to sneak in a session or two with the gossip so that they know who to avoid and who to impress. You can generally get newbies to do all the grunt work if they want to stick around. If not, they become targets, especially for the instigator. It is typical to be a newbie for two consecutive Thanksgivings, whereby you graduate to voyeur status and can then climb the Thanksgiving ladder from there.

The Wino: No Thanksgiving is complete without this generally fun loving person (unless combined with the instigator whereas major problems can arise). The wino usually involves themselves in all aspects of the holiday. You can come out of a 10 minute conversation with the wino and not know what the hell you just talked about. The wino also likes to tell jokes that aren't that funny. This provides good cover for you when you're laughing at them and not with them.

The Instigator: This is where the drama begins. The instigator usually strikes sometime between the pumpkin pie and the playing of Balderdash or Outburst. This time period is commonly referred to as "The Danger Zone". If you are careful and haven't become the wino, you can generally spot the instigator's initial assault. It normally occurs as a few innocent jabs at the intended prey in the form of under the breath comments. The prey will eventually catch on and strike back thus causing the fireworks to ensue. Expert anticipation of this event can lead to exceptional video footage.

The Voyeur: Also known as the turkeys, these are the rest of the Thanksgiving clan. They usually stay clear of all drama and like to sit back and enjoy the show. In actuality, everyone starts the holiday off as voyeurs and it just depends on the whether or not you choose to evolve into one of the preceding characters.

As for me...well, I'm sure I have been all of the above at one time or another but I'll just try sticking to being a voyeur this year...Yeah, right!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

You Might Be A Roughneck If...

I have always enjoyed working with computers ever since tooling around as a kid with my TRS-80 Color Computer and phoning up other computers (known as BBS’s for Bulletin Board Systems – pre-internet) on my 300 baud Hayes smartmodem. Everyone knows about how long it takes for an internet page to load these days. Imagine watching the page load line by line as each line slowly scrolls across the screen. That is the lightening speed we were used to back in the early ‘80s. Then someone got the bright idea (don’t believe Mr. Gore!) that it would be beneficial to connect all these computers together that were hosting the various sites and thus the internet was born.

Anyway, I have continued my interest in computers as a kid and have since enjoyed a career as a systems administrator. Most of what I know has been gathered thru past knowledge, schooling, and on the job experience at my first IT gig for an HP reseller in Austin . Then came the opportunity of a lifetime…I got a call in early 2004 from my uncle who was starting up another exploration company and needed someone to setup and administer the IT side of it. Not only would I be able to create the network from scratch but I would have an opportunity to learn many new things associated with the oil and gas industry of which I knew little to nothing about. Knowing my uncle’s successful track record and knowing that he would be a wonderful teacher from whom to learn the aspects of the industry, I felt it was a no brainer. What I failed to realize was how MUCH I would learn and what type of learning opportunities would arise. I thought I would share one of these recent experiences here…

Obviously, we drill wells looking for oil & gas (mainly gas). Being the extremely wonderful teacher that he is, my uncle has patiently undertaken the painstaking task of explaining the ins and outs of the business that he has been so successful at for the past 30 years to a layman such as myself just so that I can have a better understanding of the industry for which I am now a part of. After many insightful meetings and many answered questions, it was time to take an overnight field trip – to the drilling rig!

We drove to Freeport , Tx (about an hour south of Houston ) where we hopped on the 135 foot crew boat that would take us the short 7 miles offshore to the Todco rig. The seas were calm and the day was nice so the boat ride was pretty smooth much to the disappointment of some of the veterans who wanted us to experience an icy wind with rough seas so we would really know what it could be like when you have to say hello to Captain Ralph. Fortunately for those of us on this excursion, that was not the case.

The first thing I noticed upon our arrival at the rig was the absence of an elevator or stairs. How the hell would we get up the 100+ feet to the rig floor? That’s when I saw the crane begin to move the net basket our way. I hadn’t realized I had signed up for Coast Guard training! We put our bags in the middle of the basket and no sooner had the last person stepped onto the thing did it start to carry us away from the boat. I figured there would be someone to give the crane operator a hand signal or something that we were ready. I was wrong so I held on for dear life. I certainly didn’t want to have my name mentioned in the daily rig reports under “accidents” that are emailed to everyone at our company, much less the Houston Chronicle obituaries.

You could obviously tell this was an older drilling rig, although it was still quite impressive. It was like night and day compared to the land rig my uncle had previously taken us to and there was much to see with a lot more activity. The first person we met was the “Company Man”. This is the person who is in charge of representing our company’s presence and interest on the rig. He was going to give us a tour but since our arrival coincided with one of four meals served throughout a 24 hour period, it was time to eat lunch. It was 10:30am and I am on a drilling rig offshore in the Gulf of Mexico and the first words I hear are, “Getcha a plate and grab yer a steak!” I walk out the backdoor of the kitchen and the chef is working the outdoor BBQ pit and proceeds to throw a huge ribeye on my plate cooked to my specifications. Only in Texas !

Now it was time for my nap….uhh…..I mean tour. The rig may not be much to look at but as you walk around and see the inner workings and begin to understand how each part of the drilling rig has a function and you see how all these functions work together, it gets to be quite extraordinary. The heart of the operation occurs on the drilling floor, where all the actual drilling takes place. From this elevated platform you can see most of the activity of the rig, including an up close and personal view of the drill pipe going down the hole. As the driller works the machine that places the drill pipe in the hole, the roughnecks connect the sections of pipe as the hole gets drilled deeper. Each section of pipe is 30 feet and they add 3 pipes (90 feet) at a time to the hole. This particular well is going to be drilled to a TVD (total vertical depth) of approx 8000 feet. Because this is being drilled as a deviated hole, the actual or measured depth is considerably larger than that, thus you can imagine the amount of drill pipe needed.

After a lobster dinner (haha – actually pork chops and pasta), we watched from the drilling floor as they made what is called a “short trip”. This is a term used to describe what happens when a portion of the drill pipe is pulled out of the hole for testing purposes and then put back in. Once the drill pipe was back in the hole, they ran a couple of circulations of mud thru it to flush out the cuttings from the wellbore. Once this is done they were going to do a full trip (pull out all of the drill pipe) so that they could run casing and cement thru the top 3800 feet of the well. We decided it would be a good time to catch some shuteye while they did the full trip so we could watch them case the well in the morning.

The sleeping arrangements on this particular rig were quite sufficient and not as bad as you might think. We were in a room with 1 bunk bed and another single bunk. Each living quarters housed either 3 or 4 people. I imagine these beds felt like heaven to a lot of these guys when they get done with their daily duties. I have worked 12 hour shifts and I know how tiring they can be, let alone all the physical labor these workers go thru in a day. Although the sleeping quarters were adequate, the bathrooms were similar to those one might find down at the county lock up. If you could flush the toilet with your foot, you were good to go!

After breakfast we watched them lay the casing in the hole and that took them the better part of half a day. Their next step would be to cement the casing, let it dry, run a good circulation thru the hole and then it would be time to put the drill pipe back in the hole and continue drilling. Barring any setbacks, the whole drilling process generally takes around 18 days. Not long after they finished casing the hole, the crew boat was ready to take us back to Freeport so we had one last ride in the basket. This time I was a pro and I had the look of a true roughneck as I rode one handed down to the boat….piece of cake! One thing that troubled me however were the life jackets they give you for your journey on the basket. They are about the size of a breath mint so I don’t particularly know what good they would be other than the fact that they are bright orange, thus making them easily visible for the divers while you are laying on the sea floor.

All in all the experience was one I will never forget. Many props go out to all those guys who work tirelessly and efficiently together on those rigs. Those guys definitely earn every dime they get. I also cannot thank my uncle enough for taking the time to show and teach us the workings of the industry from inside and out. It is truly obvious that he loves what he does and the work environment that he creates makes this feeling very contagious.

A Fishing Tale

I used to put together a fishing trip for all of the college buddies a few years back, but because of the growing families and other obligations it has been hard to get everyone together at the same time to keep it going so we haven’t done it for some time. Well, all the stars and planets properly aligned and everyone was back on board for the trip this year. The destination this time around was Corpus Christi , mainly due to the fact that one of the guys going had done a lot of fishing there and grew up in neighboring Rockport so we had experience on our side.

Let me preface by saying that our past excursions have not quite been all that successful. On many of the trips the only thing we had caught was a good buzz. This has mainly been due to the inclement weather we seem to attract no matter what time of year we choose. One time, Houston flooded so bad due to a tropical depression that we never even left the condo. Needless to say, the poker chips changed hands so many times during that trip that we could have given Phil Ivey a run for his money. There was a bad storm on another trip we had made to Matagorda the night before our scheduled outing with the guides and although the rain had stopped the next day, the wind was our menacing foe on that occasion. Note to self: When the guides are telling you not to go out and that you won’t catch any fish – Don’t go and save your money! Needless to say, we were the professionals that day and even though the wind and the rain had turned the water color into something you would see in a septic tank, we were determined to fish. After about an hour or two of riding around in the freezing wind trying to find some decent colored water, we were done.

So here we go again. We packed our coolers, geared up at Academy Sports and Outdoors, got our fishing licenses and headed to Corpus in search of the ever elusive cynoscion nebulosus and sciaenops ocellatus, better known as the speckled trout and redfish. After having picked a couple of the guys up at the Corpus Christi airport, we quickly checked into the condo so that we could head down the beach to do some fishing off a newly built jetty in the gulf. The jetty did not look far from where we were staying until you started to walk it with your rods and reels, tackle, nets, bait, and large cooler full of ice and beer! (gotta give Chainsaw credit here….He was a trooper with those damn coolers!)

Frustration marred the first day of fishing at the jetty. We had bought a quart of shrimp only to have them die by the time we walked the 1/2 mile down the beach! Well, we used the fresh dead shrimp and quickly found out that this was not going to work well. We got bite after bite after bite after bite after bite. You guessed it……crap fish! After about 3 ½ minutes we were out of bait and Denis held the state record for number of saltwater perch caught in that time span. He also set the record for largest saltwater perch ever caught – 4.76 inches! Good job, Bill Dance! Not only was our luck already going the way of our previous trips, but to add insult to injury, come 5:00 everyone around us started hitting the mother load! They were bringing in these huge redfish and because we didn’t have the proper bait, we were stuck watching the action. It was like we had finally found our pot of gold only to have forgotten something to carry it home. We thought about sneaking over and stealing someone’s bait casting net long enough for us to use it to get some mullet but Denis had not had enough to drink by this point so we were shut out once again.

After a long night of poker and Aaron stories we were ready to hit it again. This time we would come prepared. We knew what time the reds would start hitting so we decided to relax for a bit. A few of the guys tried the kayaking thing in the gulf while others just chilled and poured back some cold ones on the beach. Finally it was time to head back to the jetty for round two. This time, Aaron had brought his bait casting net and on the first toss we hit paydirt. We threw our lines baited with live mullet into the water and what do you know…..of course….nothing was biting. At least this time, noone was catching anything around us either. Aaron prides himself as the ultimate sportsman when it comes to fishing, thus live bait was not his forte and he was using lures. When I walked down to see how he was doing (not much better), he suggested we cut the mullet heads off and smash them with our feet so they could get good and bloody and throw the smelly carcass out there at them. Yeah, right!

I proceeded to head back to the live bait casters and relayed the info. Denis decided to heed the advice and quickly (and with way too much pleasure) sliced the mullet up, smashed the hell out of it, hooked it up and threw it out there. “Hey Spock – you ain’t gonna catch sh…” WHAM!!! No way! He got one! His line bowed over like Monica Lewinski on a cigar! With that, all of us were fighting over the knife, the mullet and a decent spot to cast on the rocks. It didn’t matter, though. We all started to hook into them. And every fish we brought in was a keeper. This time around the other fishermen on the jetty were jealous of us and that was a good thing. Thanks Schlop! That night we cooked up our fresh catch and it was awesome…a great end to a great day!

Saturday brought a possibility of disappointment as the weather outlook turned sour in anticipation of our guided trip. We left the condos at 5:30am to make the 45 minute trek over to Rockport where we were to meet the two guides. It was lightly raining the whole way and the skies looked ominous. The forecast on the Weather Channel that morning had said there would be scattered showers all day….not good. We got to the marina and although it was still sprinkling we decided to give it a go. Four of us loaded up with Capt. Bill and the other three went with Capt. Norm. We ended up at our first spot with Bill and something crazy happened. The skies somewhat parted and the rain stopped. Along with that good fortune was the presence of trout! They bit for about 45 minutes and we put 4 keepers in the box. We moved to 3 or 4 spots and had intermittent luck until we got over to St. Charles Bay and got into some reds. Capt. Bill hooked up some cracked crab on our lines and the reds sure liked those. We ended up throwing five reds in the box and more than that back in the water. Denis was again the champion of the school yard as he brought in an absurd amount of redfish children! All in all….major props to Bill and Norm for helping us have another great day.

Our good friend Rob was there to greet us when we returned and the last night consisted of some more good tales, good memories and good company. The more I think about our past trips, I have since come to a better appreciation of all the bad luck we may seem to have had. We had much better success on this trip than we may have had before (other than 1 other time), but that was only with regards to the fishing. The real reason we all do this is not to catch fish. That is simply a bonus. The real reason is the friendships that we all have. We've all had our ups and downs over the years since college and we love the families we share our lives with now. But getting together, smoking cigars, telling lies and reliving past experiences with lifelong friends is truly priceless and I'm certainly proud to be in the presence of these good pals! 'Til next time, fellas!